I mentioned that I met someone on a social networking site (guess which one?). No idea who the person is but we got chatting and then talking. Let’s call him B*. He’s very much a bahaushe from the thickest part of Hausa land! He’s in the UK too (that’s a plus). So, we got chatting….. First conversation and B* hints at marriage! (you see what’s wrong with guys!) It seems like he’s on the look-out too especially for a bahausa living in the UK. What did I say to him?
I had to form a bit now; so I said: “well I am taKen.”
He replies: “ai ba’a daura auren ba ko? Qilan rabo na ne”.
To this, I just said “Hn…ko? Toh Allah Ya yi mana zabi mafi alheri”...
So with him, he’ll know from the get go that he’s joining a queue (he has no idea that the queue is a short one! ;-) at least for now)….
Tuesday, 14 April 2009
Special delivery- a promise is a promise
March was come-back month! Two in a month is good, but ai an basu red card, so… maybe it’s not so good… before I go off on a tangent, here are their stories …
Fella 1 is Ma-G. Ma-G is an old acquaintance who tried it on a while ago. We met at a wedding- abokin ango…. You know the drill…. He was average looking, tall and very dark (baki-wuluk... in a good way). So tall, dark, and he had a very nice accent (yes! Hausa accent). He’s from a different region and lived in a different state.
I entertained his telephone calls but I knew it was all going nowhere… (because he felt that a woman’s place is ONLY at home- that’ll be a topic for another day). There was also no depth to the way he related to me; it was as though he was just engaging to give-it-a-try. This was unfortunate because I sensed it straight away- there is no point attempting to “get to know me” if you’re not going to commit to the process whole-heartedly and determinedly...
Anyway, with Ma-G it all went cold when I came back to the UK… So guess who called mid-March? Ma-G!! Sounded as good as ever and as laid-back as ever..
“Kin share ni kwana biyu” ( I h8 conversations that start like this)
“so yaushe za ki dawo ne?”
“ina fa jiranki”… Daman, the moment a conversation starts like that, na san kawai MAGANA ce. So I told him again, “Au, ai an riga ka.”
Ya ce, “Kai wasa ki ke yi.”
Wai ya zan yi mai haka… bla bla bla…. So he seems to want in all of a sudden (but no chance) …why start and stop?…
Last week of March Fella 2, Ma-Mu got in touch. Ma-Mu had been well and truly deleted from my life. Ma-Mu is a very confident and attractive man. He knew what to say. He was older than I was and I felt I could learn a lot from him. His outgoing nature seemed to complement my somewhat shy and reserved demeanour. He knew his rights, was well-travelled, he had the right dose of ambition and was a do-er. Ma-Mu would recommend a du’a, quote a verse of the Holy book, pray into the night. Ma-Mu seems like a fairy-tale ko?..... He was!!
Ma-mu was many wonderful things including MARRIED with kids! To his credit he himself disclosed this info. He said they were separated. When I asked “saki uku?” he said “two but they’re separated”… In my books that = still married… What followed were vital signs that pointed to him being very married. Ni bazan iya ba! So although I was going to miss him, I DELETED the man from my mind and prayed to forget (Alhamdulillahi bamu dade ba tare).
So what does he want now? He called to say hi. He “misses me”… blah blah blah… maybe I wouldn’t have answered if I had recognised the number, maybe I still would have… My sensible mind is telling me, this is a no-go zone…
As I write this post, i’m quickly becoming aware that these two come-backs are not really come-backs…. Just flash-backs from dreams which turned into nightmares. (Surat Falaq 3x over the left shoulder and change sleeping side)…
These two fellas, I’m afraid must remain in the past…
Fella 1 is Ma-G. Ma-G is an old acquaintance who tried it on a while ago. We met at a wedding- abokin ango…. You know the drill…. He was average looking, tall and very dark (baki-wuluk... in a good way). So tall, dark, and he had a very nice accent (yes! Hausa accent). He’s from a different region and lived in a different state.
I entertained his telephone calls but I knew it was all going nowhere… (because he felt that a woman’s place is ONLY at home- that’ll be a topic for another day). There was also no depth to the way he related to me; it was as though he was just engaging to give-it-a-try. This was unfortunate because I sensed it straight away- there is no point attempting to “get to know me” if you’re not going to commit to the process whole-heartedly and determinedly...
Anyway, with Ma-G it all went cold when I came back to the UK… So guess who called mid-March? Ma-G!! Sounded as good as ever and as laid-back as ever..
“Kin share ni kwana biyu” ( I h8 conversations that start like this)
“so yaushe za ki dawo ne?”
“ina fa jiranki”… Daman, the moment a conversation starts like that, na san kawai MAGANA ce. So I told him again, “Au, ai an riga ka.”
Ya ce, “Kai wasa ki ke yi.”
Wai ya zan yi mai haka… bla bla bla…. So he seems to want in all of a sudden (but no chance) …why start and stop?…
Last week of March Fella 2, Ma-Mu got in touch. Ma-Mu had been well and truly deleted from my life. Ma-Mu is a very confident and attractive man. He knew what to say. He was older than I was and I felt I could learn a lot from him. His outgoing nature seemed to complement my somewhat shy and reserved demeanour. He knew his rights, was well-travelled, he had the right dose of ambition and was a do-er. Ma-Mu would recommend a du’a, quote a verse of the Holy book, pray into the night. Ma-Mu seems like a fairy-tale ko?..... He was!!
Ma-mu was many wonderful things including MARRIED with kids! To his credit he himself disclosed this info. He said they were separated. When I asked “saki uku?” he said “two but they’re separated”… In my books that = still married… What followed were vital signs that pointed to him being very married. Ni bazan iya ba! So although I was going to miss him, I DELETED the man from my mind and prayed to forget (Alhamdulillahi bamu dade ba tare).
So what does he want now? He called to say hi. He “misses me”… blah blah blah… maybe I wouldn’t have answered if I had recognised the number, maybe I still would have… My sensible mind is telling me, this is a no-go zone…
As I write this post, i’m quickly becoming aware that these two come-backs are not really come-backs…. Just flash-backs from dreams which turned into nightmares. (Surat Falaq 3x over the left shoulder and change sleeping side)…
These two fellas, I’m afraid must remain in the past…
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
Hello Strangers
Hello!
I've been in hiatus. Sorry, blogging takes some getting used to.... I have plenty of stories to tell. I'm falling over myself to write them down. I must write them before I lose them. March was an interesting month. On the Hausamatch front, there were TWO comebacks!!! Believe it. I know i'm multi-dating now but kai.... I want some freshness... koko dai in bada second chance? I guess you can't comment until you know the circumstances. Labarai to follow soon ISA.
I also met someone on a popular social networking site... some seriOus bahaushe!! lol... stay tuned
To "anonymous" nagode for the boost.
True and True
Sky High
I've been in hiatus. Sorry, blogging takes some getting used to.... I have plenty of stories to tell. I'm falling over myself to write them down. I must write them before I lose them. March was an interesting month. On the Hausamatch front, there were TWO comebacks!!! Believe it. I know i'm multi-dating now but kai.... I want some freshness... koko dai in bada second chance? I guess you can't comment until you know the circumstances. Labarai to follow soon ISA.
I also met someone on a popular social networking site... some seriOus bahaushe!! lol... stay tuned
To "anonymous" nagode for the boost.
True and True
Sky High
Wednesday, 18 February 2009
How many ppl should you date at the same time?
Traditionally dating in hausa culture has involved one girl to many suitors who compete for her affections. She is not committed to any one of them, but they are all committed to only her. When she makes her choice, the loving souls left behind move on to lick their wounds and date someone else....
In "western" cultures, this might been considered cheating or just wierd? At least that's what I've thought; choose 1 and be with 1. Ignore/deter all others.... WHAT A FOOL I HAVE BEEN! I can tell you now, that this doesn't work! It has so far proven to be an unwise strategy. A layer of stupidity has been revealed with each "boyfriend" I have shed. Imagine! i could've dated all # at the same time! That would have saved me over 8 years of ..dunno.. searching!
I began to realise this over the past year and yesterday, I stumbled across an article that said the Americans do date more than one person at the same time- less common for the British. I don't know where I got the idea that this was a western thing. Or indeed why I decided to adopt that philosophy when every one else was doing otherwise. Perhaps I was being rebellious; I think it must have been the naivety of youth.
So for me, no more 1 for 1 committment. The person I commit to will be my husband. Simple and short. When I see a number of suitors before I meet my Hausa Match, it is not CHEATing or infidelity or whatever you want to call it. It is simply dating like my ancestors used to do it.
Besides, what IS cheating? I am a chaste Muslim girl, and I plan to remain that way....
In "western" cultures, this might been considered cheating or just wierd? At least that's what I've thought; choose 1 and be with 1. Ignore/deter all others.... WHAT A FOOL I HAVE BEEN! I can tell you now, that this doesn't work! It has so far proven to be an unwise strategy. A layer of stupidity has been revealed with each "boyfriend" I have shed. Imagine! i could've dated all # at the same time! That would have saved me over 8 years of ..dunno.. searching!
I began to realise this over the past year and yesterday, I stumbled across an article that said the Americans do date more than one person at the same time- less common for the British. I don't know where I got the idea that this was a western thing. Or indeed why I decided to adopt that philosophy when every one else was doing otherwise. Perhaps I was being rebellious; I think it must have been the naivety of youth.
So for me, no more 1 for 1 committment. The person I commit to will be my husband. Simple and short. When I see a number of suitors before I meet my Hausa Match, it is not CHEATing or infidelity or whatever you want to call it. It is simply dating like my ancestors used to do it.
Besides, what IS cheating? I am a chaste Muslim girl, and I plan to remain that way....
Monday, 16 February 2009
Vals
So it was Valentine's Day over the weekend... Just another day really, no date, no flowers, no chocolate...
I wonder what Hausa gentlemen of today do for vals? Traditionally- dare I say it- they haven't struck me as romantic. But then again, this is now. So what have you done or what have you received?
I remember valentine's day 2 years ago.... I had met a lovely man called Faruk while out shopping along Bond Street in December (I know! it's unlikely... he was unique). We made eye contact and he approached me. He asked for my number and he got it.... We spoke on the phone- it flowed. We went out to lunch a couple of times... things were alright, but there was a bit too much "Qarya" about him. Read on...
In January, I was nursing a cold and he called...
Awww... mura kike yi?
Yes (Sniff sniff)
That's so terrible, you taking meds?
Yeah
have you had something to eat?
Not really.. bana jin cin komai..
But ya kamata ki ci wani abu.... hold on a minute.... I'm going to order some soup for you.. menene adress din ki?
(smiling from ear to ear) Haba dai, you don't have to.
Ya kamata ki ci wani abu....
Okay. 24 XYZ Road....
So he ends the call to place the order. He calls me back 5 minutes later and then says that they don't deliver that far out. I say okay, ba komai...
February 14th,
(Text message) Hey Sky, Happy Valentine's day...
(Phone call later) How was your day? I want to send some flowers to you. What's your address?
Nah, you don't have to
Kin tabbata? I don't like flowers myself but I will send them to you..
Nah, i'm fine thank you...
.... I'm busy, so I say goodbye
Mind you, this wasn't a relationship. He was supposed to be wooing me! can you believe it?! Thinking back to the Soup incident, ina jin ma karya kawai ya ke yi... but i tell you what, it worked! Shameful. And on V-day, he ASKED whether to send flowers on the day! What an insult! If he had wanted to send them, he would have planned it well in advance. You see, my kinda Man would have kept my address following the Soup day..... Needless to say, the brotha was a poser who was a practised playa in the field...
There's more to the story than i have time to write about now. The shege (excuse my language) was a phantom smooth operator. He almost got me because he whipped a cloud of charm all around me. Amma, like I said ALMOST. Allah ya kiayaye ni, cos I got off that train to nowhere.....
I wonder what Hausa gentlemen of today do for vals? Traditionally- dare I say it- they haven't struck me as romantic. But then again, this is now. So what have you done or what have you received?
I remember valentine's day 2 years ago.... I had met a lovely man called Faruk while out shopping along Bond Street in December (I know! it's unlikely... he was unique). We made eye contact and he approached me. He asked for my number and he got it.... We spoke on the phone- it flowed. We went out to lunch a couple of times... things were alright, but there was a bit too much "Qarya" about him. Read on...
In January, I was nursing a cold and he called...
Awww... mura kike yi?
Yes (Sniff sniff)
That's so terrible, you taking meds?
Yeah
have you had something to eat?
Not really.. bana jin cin komai..
But ya kamata ki ci wani abu.... hold on a minute.... I'm going to order some soup for you.. menene adress din ki?
(smiling from ear to ear) Haba dai, you don't have to.
Ya kamata ki ci wani abu....
Okay. 24 XYZ Road....
So he ends the call to place the order. He calls me back 5 minutes later and then says that they don't deliver that far out. I say okay, ba komai...
February 14th,
(Text message) Hey Sky, Happy Valentine's day...
(Phone call later) How was your day? I want to send some flowers to you. What's your address?
Nah, you don't have to
Kin tabbata? I don't like flowers myself but I will send them to you..
Nah, i'm fine thank you...
.... I'm busy, so I say goodbye
Mind you, this wasn't a relationship. He was supposed to be wooing me! can you believe it?! Thinking back to the Soup incident, ina jin ma karya kawai ya ke yi... but i tell you what, it worked! Shameful. And on V-day, he ASKED whether to send flowers on the day! What an insult! If he had wanted to send them, he would have planned it well in advance. You see, my kinda Man would have kept my address following the Soup day..... Needless to say, the brotha was a poser who was a practised playa in the field...
There's more to the story than i have time to write about now. The shege (excuse my language) was a phantom smooth operator. He almost got me because he whipped a cloud of charm all around me. Amma, like I said ALMOST. Allah ya kiayaye ni, cos I got off that train to nowhere.....
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
Being Seen
So it's February already.... How time flies! Today I am going to write about a video I saw online. It was titled "how to meet men". The woman giving advice was a mathcmaking "expert" and her tips were:
Be confident
Be SEEN- be everywhere!
Smile and be approachable
These are fantastic tips and they made me want to get out-and-about sharpish... So as I put on my black flats, black coat, black scarf and a whiff of Cinema by YSL, I feel a million naira. Remembering my smile, I stepped out and into town to be seen...
Back I came; mission unaccomplished. What went wrong? My black ensamble lacked OOOmph. It was very ^^Yawn^^. So I was NOt seen, hence my smile eventually flattened... So i've decided to add a little Pzazz and some sexy into my look. Heels... Bracelets.. Cocktail rings.. Scarves... Perhaps something red....
Be confident
Be SEEN- be everywhere!
Smile and be approachable
These are fantastic tips and they made me want to get out-and-about sharpish... So as I put on my black flats, black coat, black scarf and a whiff of Cinema by YSL, I feel a million naira. Remembering my smile, I stepped out and into town to be seen...
Back I came; mission unaccomplished. What went wrong? My black ensamble lacked OOOmph. It was very ^^Yawn^^. So I was NOt seen, hence my smile eventually flattened... So i've decided to add a little Pzazz and some sexy into my look. Heels... Bracelets.. Cocktail rings.. Scarves... Perhaps something red....
Monday, 26 January 2009
Raba Kqafa
So, wata Kqawa has offered to help in my search by hooking me up with sm pple she knows. This is positive but I can't help but think... "if they're wonderful why hasn't she chosen any one of them?"... " are they her cast-offs?"..... I have been going over this for a few days now and I have decided I don't care... One man's poison.... besides, which of one of you can say that your partner is not another's cast-off?.. So y'see it's no matter. So long as dai they're not in love with my friend.... Oh duniya! have you heard about similar circumstances where the man marries ME and then eventually marries my FRIEND as a second wife?.. Wai!.. Allah Ya raba mu da ganin wannan. Amin.... anyway, I digress...
So I'm going to call my friend and tell her to go all out; he should be a man who's ready to settle and not a boy... The only proviso is that she doen't make me sound desperate because I am not ;-)
So I'm going to call my friend and tell her to go all out; he should be a man who's ready to settle and not a boy... The only proviso is that she doen't make me sound desperate because I am not ;-)
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